HUSBAND & WIFE: CONDITIONS OF MARRIED HAPPINESS

 

 

So, we move ahead.

 Sound sense,then, is the indispensable quality which a young lady should require in the man who is to be her life-long companion.We place this first in the category,because even the highest moral rectitude and brilliant mental gifts,without the balancing power and prudential guidance of sound sense,will not secure her against the shipwreck of domestic happiness.Few sensitive people can watch,without disgust and loss of love,daily exhibitions of brainless,ludicrous,and stupid conduct on the part of those whom they sworn to 'to love,honour and obey'.

Ruskin in  "Sesame & Lilies" averred, " Each sex has what the other has not;each completes the other,and is completed by the other;they are in nothing alike,and the happiness and perfection of both depends on each asking and receiving from the other what the other only can give".

No view of marriage is satisfactory that does not  regard it as a tender and respectful friendship, "embellished," as a brilliant Frenchman adds," by an incomparable mutual possession".The only lady whom many a man habitually treat uncivilly,is his own wife;and the only gentleman for whom many a lady will take no pains to be pleasant and attractive,is her own husband !

Want of unity of aim is another profile source of domestic failure.This has many sides and enters into economics,child training,the cultivation of good neighbourly relationships,the maintenance of a satisfactory footing with the relatives of both sides of the house,the relativity of work to relaxation,the quality and allotment of joint pleasures,and the formation of new friendships.Pitfalls in abundance attend every one of these illustrations the want of oneness in aim.

"Any real and permanent union of human beings must rest on a sufficient harmony between them in respect to the three portions of our spiritual nature-feeling,intelligence ,and what is properly called character;and this harmony should be more complete in proportion as the union is to be intimate and profound".Profession of the same religious faith becomes,therefore,an important item in family concord.

To wrap up, my friends, in a nutshell all that has been said so far: The secret of domestic happiness lies in the exercise of mutual forbearance,gentleness and courteous demeanour,the desire to please  and be pleased,the willingness to express pleasure when felt,the opportune demonstration of affection,and the determination to be one in aim and action in all that pertains to a common and co-operative life."Union is strength" is an old adage;but in married life it is more,it is peace and comfort !

(WISHING YOU ALL ALL A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE)

HUSBAND AND WIFE

" CELEBACY,HOWEVER GLOOMY AND PAINFUL IT MAY SOMETIMES BE,IS BETTER THAN A BAD MARRIAGE "

He undertakes no light task who ventures to give counsel in a relationship so ancient-- as that of husband and wife.Many might think that the task was not only presumptuous but also superfluous,for who can hope to improve upon the counsel given in Holy Scriptures,and summarized in the Marriage Service of the Common Prayer and other manuals ? There is,however, a field which lies outside the technically religious territory that experience and genial common-sense,free from cynicism,may help to cultivate .In view of the aforesaid, none will dispute the above mentioned dictum.

"In the selection of a wife,tenderness and purity are prime requisites,and no gifts of speculative intellect or practical ability can compensate their absence".The wife should be in fact:

" A creature not too bright or good

For human nature's daily food;

      For transient sorrows,simple wiles,

                   Praises,blame,love,kisses,tears and smiles"

So sings Wordsworth in his exquisite "Portrait".And Byron,albeit not himself a model husband,is scarcely less successful in his "Bride of Abydos" in depicting the qualities expected in a good wife"

     " To soothe thy sickness,watch thy health,

Partake but never waste thy wealth,

  Or stand with smiles unmurmuring by,And lighten half thy poverty".

But what about the choice of a husband ?Just see the remarks of Mrs Fitzpatrick in Fielding's "Tom Jones:-

"It requires a most penetrating eye to discover a fool through the disguises of gaiety and good breeding....Among my acquaintances,the silliest fellows are the worst husbands;and I will venture to assert as a fact,that a man of sense rarely behaves very ill to a wife who deserves very well".

(Next:- Compatibility,approximate equality & conditions of Married happiness)

THIS DAY 219 YEARS AGO- ON BOARD HMS CAESAR

                                    (Glorious First of June Fleet)

On the 28th of April 1795,a naval court-martial,which had created considerable excitement,and lasted for sixteen days,came to a conclusion.

                                        (HMS CAESER)

  (Court Martial held on board HMS Glory)

The officer tried was Captain Anthony James Pye Molloy,of His Majesty's Ship Caesar;and the charge brought against him was,that he did not bring his ship into action,and exert himself to the utmost of his power,in the memorable battle of the 1st of  June 1794.

The charge in effect was the disgraceful one of cowardice;yet Molloy had frequently proved himself to be a brave soldier.The court decided that the charge had been made good; but, having found that on many previous occasions Captain Molley's courage had been unimpeachable, he was simply sentenced to be dismissed his ship,instead of the severe penalty of death.

                                                            ( THE BATTLE OF 1st JUNE)

A very curious story is told to account for this example of the 'fears of the brave'.It is said that Molloy had behaved dishonourably to a young lady to whom he was betrothed.The friends of the lady wished to bring an action of breach of promise against the inconsistent captain,but she declined doing so,saying that God would punish him.

Some time afterwards,they accidentally met in a public room at Bath.She steadily confronted him,while he,drawing back,mumbled some incoherent apology.

The lady said,'Captain Molloy,you are a bad man.I wish you the greatest curse that can befall a British officer.When the day of battle comes,may your false heart fail you!'

His subsequent conduct and irremediable disgrace formed the fulfillment of her wish.

He later married daughter of an Admiral ,but it was imputed that he had become a ' henpecked ' & totally dominated husband.His weak nature had ,possibly, extended to his home.He died in 1814 at the age of 60 years,having never again served at sea.

THE ROYAL CONNECTION:THREE RALLYING POINTS OF THE ILLUSTRIOUS GARHWAL RIFLES

FOR MY FRIENDS IN WEST POINT & SANDHURST

(THREE EMOTIONALLY RALLYING POINTS FOR A GARHWALI)

ONE:THE REGIMENTAL DEITY,LORD BADRI VISHAL LAL

TWO:THE REGIMENTAL WAR MEMORIAL LANSDOWNE

              THREE: THE SCARLET LANYARD

(  A BHULA IS BLENDED OUT OF  THE ABOVE THREE)

SILAS MARNER FROM MY GRAND PA'S FIRE PLACE STORIES.

My Grand Pa was a great story teller.

Almost on all evenings,we sat next to him to listen to his pearls of wisdom.One of the major reasons for these evening get togethers was -that he invariably gave us some 'guddies' to eat. He took these out of his coat pockets - like rabbits emerging one after another ! In winters when we had snow,we sat next to the fire place.Grand pa would take command and control burning of  logs meticulously. 

He covered potatoes by hot ash & gave these to us one by one. With our mouths literally burning,we loved it all.There was no time to add butter or sprinkle salt.We were always in a great hurry.

It was done with astonishing fairness.We were all his favourites.

Whether it was a bitter winter or a hot summer, he always wore a suit or a jacket with a tie .We loved his dangling silver 'West End Pocket Watch'. It was neatly tucked inside his waist coat pocket by a thick silver chain.Today,I am the proud possessor of these items.The watch is working beautifully & I get it serviced in New Delhi every alternate year.

He was an extremely learned person. A self made man- an extremely successful Advocate - who reached pinnacles of fame & glory.He spoke & wrote impeccable English. His handwriting was just like tablet writing & his letters to us were a treat to go through.

He very often spoke to us about The Indian Press Series of School Classics.The book that he talked that evening was SILAS MARNER. Looking towards me he asked, " Who is the Author". 

With boyish alacrity I replied " George Idiot- a great man -father of Eppie".

He burst out laughing.He told us that ,firstly,it was George Eliot & NOT George Idiot and,secondly, George Eliot was the pen name of Mary Ann Evans- a great lady novelist of the Victorian Era.The basic reason of  having a man's  pen name was ,as she perceived was ,that people would take her compositions seriously.Another reason behind this             was ,perhaps, she wanted to shield her private life from public glare.

We were simply surprised when he told us that the famous book SUKHDAS was adaptation of SILAS MARNER by Munshi Prem Chand. He had met him at Allahabad on a number of occasions.He was a modest man with frugal habits but a great writer & intellectual - he said.

I saw my Grand Pa alive last in November 1965.He died a year later.

As I look back,I remember his story sessions & miss them.

Hopefully,one day my grand children shall sit around me & listen to my stories. But I have to be a good story teller!

But, will they have patience,interest  & inclination to do so ?

INDIA'S FIRST WAR OF INDEPENDENCE: EAST INDIA COMPANY GETS A ROYAL BOOT-3

 

 

We know, and respect,the feelings of attachment with which the Natives of India regard the Lands inherited by them from their Ancestors;and We desire to protect them in all Rights connected there-with,subject to the equitable demands of the State;and We will that generally,in framing and administering the Law,due regard be paid to the ancient Rights.We deeply lament the evils and misery which have been brought upon India by the acts of ambitious Men,who have deceived their Countrymen,by false reports, and led them into open Rebellion.Our power has been shewn by the Suppression of that rebellion in the field;We desire to shew Our Mercy,by pardoning the Offences of those who have been thus misled,but who desire to return to the path of Duty.

Already in one Province,with a view to stop the further effusion of blood,and to hasten the Pacification of our Indian Dominions,Our Viceroy and Governor General has held out the expectation of Pardon,on certain terms,to the great majority of those,who in the late unhappy disturbances,have been guilty of Offences against our Government,and has declared the Punishment which will be inflicted on those whose Crimes place them beyond the reach of forgiveness.We approve and confirm the said Act of Our Viceroy and Governor General,and do further announce and proclaim as follows:-

Our Clemency will be extended to all Offenders,save and except those who have been, or shall be,convicted of having directly taken part in the Murder of British Subjects.With regard to such,the Demands of Justice forbid the exercise of mercy.

To those who have willingly given asylum to Murderers,knowing them to be such,or who may have acted as leaders or instigators in Revolt,their lives  alone can be guaranteed;but in apportioning the Penalty due to such persons,full consideration will be given to the circumstances under which they have been inducted to throw off their allegiance;and large indulgence shall be shown to those whose Crimes may appear to have originated in too credulous acceptance of the false reports circulated by designing Men.

To all others in Arms against the Government,We hereby promise unconditional Pardon,Amnesty,and Oblivion of all Offences against ourselves.Our Crown and Dignity,on their return to their homes and peaceful pursuits.

It is our Royal Pleasure that these Terms of Grace and Amnesty should be extended to all those who comply with their Conditions before the First Day of January next.

When,by the Blessing of Providence,internal tranquility shall be restored,it is Our earnest Desire to stimulate the peaceful Industry of India,to promote Works of Public Utility and Improvement,and to administer its Government for the benefit of all Our Subjects resident therein.In their prosperity will be Our Strength;in their Contentment Our Security;and in their Gratitude Our best reward.And may the God of all Power grant to Us,and to those in authority under us,Strength to carry out these Our Wishes for the good of Our people.

END

(DREAM OF MACAULAY TO MAKE INDIA A TRULY DOMINATED NATION WAS THUS FULFILLED)

INDIA'S FIRST WAR OF INDEPENDENCE: EAST INDIA COMPANY GETS A ROYAL BOOT-2

Proclamation Continued

We hereby announce to the Native Princes of India that all Treaties and Engagements made with them by or under the authority of the Honourable East India Company are by Us accepted,and will be scrupulously maintained;and We look for the like observance on their part.

We desire no extension of Our present territorial Possessions;and while We will permit no aggression upon our Dominions or Our Rights,Dignity,and Honour of Native Princes as our own;and We desire that they,as well as Our own subjects,should enjoy that Prosperity and that social Advancement which can only be secured by internal Peace and good Government.

We hold Ourselves  bound to the Natives of our Indian Territories by the same obligations of Duty which bind Us to all Our Subjects;and those Obligations,by the Blessings of Almighty God,We shall faithfully and conscientiously fulfill.

Firmly relying Ourselves on the truth of Christianity,and acknowledging with gratitude the solace of Religion,We disclaim alike the Right and the Desire to impose Our Convictions upon any of Our Subjects.We declare it to be Our Royal Will and Pleasure that none be in any wise favoured ,none molested or disquieted by reason of their Religious Faith or Observances;but that all shall alike enjoy the equal and impartial protection of the Law:and We do strictly charge and enjoin all those who may be in authority under Us,that they abstain from all interference with the Religious Belief or Worship of any of Our Subjects,on pain of Our highest Displeasure.

( To be Continued)